Not sure if it’s the economy, my rapidly aging brain and body, or over-exposure to dry, heated air, but I’ve really been stressed out lately, feeling like the weight of my little slice of the world has become much heavier than usual, and as though the effort to counter this with any kind of vivacity or élan isn’t going to be happening soon, or meeting with much success. I’ll also be the first person to admit that February is my least favorite time of year, a month I like to think got designated shortest because of its surly and boorish unpleasantness and our desire to get it out of the way as quickly as possible.
In any case, there I was at the store, spending money I don’t have now and possibly never will, desperate to rid myself of this disagreeable contentiousness. And there as always, waiting for me, was a proposed solution, this time in the form of a bottle of roll-on stress relief lotion, which relaxes your mind and body simultaneously. I found the concept of mental and physical relaxation combined so highly appealing that I rushed home and freely applied this product to most of my bodily surfaces. I suggest you not follow my lead, because stinging regret showed up and in the end I would not have used the words “stress free” to describe myself. As usual. Turns out my problem was that I was craving a lack of stress. A quick once-over with some quit craving lotion brought about at least a modicum of relief.
