He’s not here! In fact, I think he’s out playing golf with some of his buddies, and screwing up the best and most important day in my life. 99% of my energy for the past six months has gone into organizing this wedding and daydreaming about what it’s going to be like, and let me tell you what: standing here next to these giant balls isn’t the way it was supposed to go at all. I am one exasperated bride.
But if I have to take things into my own hands, I will, buster. This is my special day, and no one’s going to take that away from me. If you value your health, you’ll stand up like a man right now, and get in that church so I can walk down the aisle properly. Don’t make me drag you, because I’ll do it.
And after the reception, I plan on giving you the ass-kicking of a lifetime. Do not exasperate a bride!
