Have a colorful weekend

Tackle that “honey dew” list with weekend spray paint, and get the job done in half the time with one-third the effort, because everyone knows weekend time is sacred and not to be wasted. Before you even start to become bored and restless your project’s finished and mostly dry. Clean-up’s a breeze, too.

If your paint job calls for regular paint, we’ve also got you covered with

the weekend paintbrush, which provides identical results. Minimize the misery, and leave regular paint and painting implements for professionals or weekdays, or those “I like to watch paint dry” types. As for you, you’re on to something much more pleasant while they’re still applying the second coat.

For those about to rock

Today we celebrate, for various reasons, the wondrous and magical powers of the stone. Stones can be weapon-like and used for harm, but it is much more their nature to heal, cleanse, transmit energy, etc. They are a force of nature, not to be taken for granted. Their stoic and silent assistance and continual presence is to be commended.



















But the free ones you can find in your yard aren’t good enough, got it? You're gonna have to buy some stones. Like the ones included in the Chakra Tumbled Stones set, which have been infused with Reiki energy. We are not at liberty to explain the infusion process, and you’ll have to read up on Reiki energy on your own time in order to learn how much you want it, but we can assure you with all sincerity that you will greatly benefit from possessing energy-infused stones, and suggest that you arrange yours as shown.

These stones clean one’s chakras; such cleansing is necessary for the maintenance of intuition and spiritual health. Basically, you want your chakras to be clean and open at all times and they probably aren’t. The other products in my house are pretty close-mouthed when it comes to chakra hygiene, so I’m expecting a lot from these stones.




















These guys had also better not let me down. They are Brazilian Quartz Crystal Points Healing Stones, and not only do they claim to transmit and transduce thoughts and energy, but they also amplify thoughts and intentions. Best of all, they “activate.” I’ll be a force with which to be reckoned with my tranduced thoughts and amplified intentions, just you wait! And when I start activating…world, get outta my way.





















But I won’t let all that power and clean-chakra-lity to go my head. I’m also getting a pound of Ruby Zoisite tumbled stones, because they will help me be fully aware of my relation to all humanity—which, as you can see, is roughly equal, although there are some standouts, and we can all aspire, right?



















For those of you just getting started, why not try the Semi-Precious Stone Spheres gift box? It comes with very pretty 1” stones, and you can research them and learn about what special powers they might lend you, then report back with your findings.

Shock it to me

The Lightning Reaction Extreme Game is so much fun, I can barely tear myself away from it long enough to talk about it for a few seconds. Maybe I like it so much because my reflexes are wildly fast, so I almost always win. It’s a strategy-based game of hand-eye coordination and mental endurance; in other words, fun for all ages. Get yourself a joystick and quickly familiarize yourself with the exact amount of tension it will take to make the button engage, then commit that to muscle memory. Ready? Now hit the start button and nervously watch the center light flash red for a while and listen to the game play you a song that goes faster and faster. It really gets your adrenaline flowing.

Here’s the secret: do not allow yourself to stop paying attention at this point. This is when you need to start doing whatever you can to distract your opponents—talk about being hungry, or tell a long boring story about something that happened to you in third grade, or ask a very interesting and penetrating question that makes them stop and think. Then, when they least expect it, the music stops, the center light changes to green, and that’s when you frantically push your trigger button. Last one in’s a rotten egg, and gets shocked. It’s kind of like a new-fangled, lazier version of musical chairs.

But there are several modern catches: hit the button before the color changes and you’re guaranteeing yourself a shock for premature e-joystick-ulation. In fact, the only one who doesn’t get shocked is the first person who presses his or her joystick button at the earliest opportunity. It’s a truly great and rare game that punishes three-quarters of its participants in each round. Oh, and one more little detail: the more experienced you are at the game, the higher the shock level you get for not winning. I lost once yesterday, and it took almost an hour before I could type again.

Ease in to the season

Nothing like the day after Labor Day to hammer home the fact that it’s no longer summer. And nothing like back-to-the-grind season to put most of us in a jaw-clenching, unhappily tense frame of mind. Seems like just a few seconds ago summer, with all its beckoning bewitchments, was just a glimmer in our eyes, doesn’t it? How can it already be harsh reality:thirty?

Well, buck up a little. The first few weeks of fall bring their own distinct pleasures, and you’ll make the transition, willing or not. Like you have a choice. Go ask the Sarcastic Ball.

Those of you who are finding it nearly impossible to reconcile your current condition with your inner seasonal needs might derive some comfort from the Day at the Beach Executive Sandbox. You’ll be answering the phone, dictating memos, writing press releases or whatever it is that you do for a living, but you can also be digging in the sand, resting a finger or two in the shade of a sunbrella, finding a pretty seashell, and keeping at least a small corner of your life dedicated to the memory of elusive summer. It’s hard to let go, but it’ll be back.

Look sharp

The scorpion knife, a veritable non-ending series of finely-honed blades, cuts down anything in its path. Because it’s certain to hurt you from almost any angle and has a bit of an intimidating edginess, we recommend keeping it on its display stand most of the time. The other knick-knacks and objets d’art in the house feel uneasy when it’s around, even my striking snake.




















If it gets too self-assured or starts behaving like a bully, buy the tarantula knife. Don’t even look at it for too long; it’s so dangerous that it comes with a built-in handle because contact with any of its other surfaces will draw blood, and not a little. That handle’s up there for a reason. It comes with its own web, and we suggest keeping it there on a full-time basis.

My scorpion took one look at it and went into belly-up submission mode. It was all over a few minutes later.