Sometimes positive, sometimes negative, sometimes unsure of itself ("Reply hazy, ask again" was one of my favorites), this ball never tried to hurt your feelings or put you down in any way, and was at least honest when it didn’t have a clue (roughly 1/3 of the time). We don’t have the patience for that kind of uncertainty any more! Now Magic 8 has a new cohort, the Sarcastic ball.
Get a clue! Who cares? Clearly not the Sarcastic ball. Some of its other answers include: "Whatever", "Yeah, and I might be the pope" and the ever-popular "You wish." With a companion like the Sarcastic ball, it’s not surprising that many people find themselves turning to the
Affirmation ball to soothe their feelings. The Affirmation ball doles out what it deems to be inspirational messages ("At least I love you" and "Who says you’re stupid?" are two of its relatively unimpressive attempts at affirmation). Okay, it could maybe be a little more affirmative. But at least it’s not being all snide and snarky like some balls we know.
Dr. Freud’s therapy ball is a natural response to the neuroses and anxieties caused by over-exposure to the aforementioned balls, when one needs a little more reassurance in the ball department. Freud’s ball offers up mostly encouragement, ("You’re making progress") although it does contain a remark or two that might ruin an over-sensitive type ("Are you taking your meds?" and "Who am I talking to now?"). More than one person has broken this item when confronted with the "Sorry, time’s up" message.
And then there's the Excuse ball, offering up twenty excuses, including "I was mugged" and the all-purpose "Mexican food."
There’s also the Mystical Orb ball, which is pretty much a Magic 8 ball with different, yet strangely similar answers, the Wall Street Guru ball, dispensing top-notch financial advice, and the Smart Fortune Cookie ball! And in a newer format, there's the Fortune Water ball, which is basically a die floating in some liquid inside a ball. It has an even cooler cousin, the Hi Bounce Fortune Water ball,
which is also pretty much a die-in-ball thing, but updated, upgraded, ready for the 21st century. Responses include "Fo Sho", "Not Guna Hap'in", and "True dat." Plus, it’s like a super ball filled with viscous liquid! When you’re finally ready to branch out and allow more than one toy to inform you about your future, we’ve got your balls right here.
My brother: Wow, who knew there were all those responsive question/answer balls out there? Although I like the thought of being told something modern, like "bitch, please" to some of my modern ball questions.
Let's face it, the days of Lite Brite style questions have given way to Wii and internet related questions...you need an answer ball that speaks your language, not some archaic lingo.
