One of our current top ten scapegoats in the “lousy quality of life” department is lack of relaxation. It’s something we all suffer from in varying degrees, and finally there’s a product that can tackle the problem and give it the full-on body slam it so richly deserves. See, the reason you’re not relaxed is that you’re not relaxing. You’re doing way too much, all the time, which gets your neurons all fired up and your atoms running with scissors when they should be chillin’ poolside. You need to slow down all your internal gyrations, and that starts with lying down and being still. With the Relaxman Relaxation Capsule there are no other options.
Lie down, close the capsule door and you’re encased in total, soundproofed darkness. Once you stop frantically trying to find where the door handle is and become still and quiet, some music and lights start doing relaxation-inducing things while the atmosphere becomes ionically enriched, and therefore ultra-relaxing. Messing with ions is one of our current top ten scientific linchpins; their manipulation helps with hair care, air purification, and so many other applications that they must ensure relaxation as well. You’ll barely be able to get the DeLorean-esque door back open, you’ll be so calmly mellow.
After just a few sessions with the Relaxman, you’ll find your other ionic products have been trying to soothe you all along. Sometimes when I don’t have the time for the full treatment, I pull out my ionic hair dryer and within minutes I’m much, much better.
