Give someone this petri dish of syphilis microbes, and you’ll probably never be far from his or her thoughts. But don’t wrap it up like a regular present; that’s too obvious. Keep your microbes in a warm, moist environment for a few weeks, then unleash them upon their recipient in some sly way—we trust you to think up an extra-clever method, because, remember, you’re not immune.
Take a quick peek inside—you get three microbes, see them? Okay, now slam the lid back on the jar, because microbes are not easily contained, particularly not syphilitic ones.
Also available: gonorrhea, chlamydia, e. coli, malaria, HIV, herpes, and most of your other favorite microbial friends. We’re sure to have something for everyone on your gift list, and can guarantee that by the next holiday season that list will be shorter.
