This might be the most practical do-it-yourself gift a man could ever receive. It’s a known and well-documented fact that men hold onto their underwear for an ungodly amount of time, often considering them suitably broken in only after the entire crotch has split open. I retrieve underwear from the dryer that’s not much more than an elastic circle with scraps of fragmented cotton hanging limply in the areas that haven’t completely eroded. Some look like they’ve been dipped in battery acid. If I try to throw them away, they’re miraculously in the laundry again the next week.
So, since you guys aren’t willing to ditch these beloved companions, how about a little effort at maintenance? The kit comes with a manual, duct tape, white out (ewww), iron on patches, an elastic band, and some actual sewing accessories. “I like mine the way they are!” you’re thinking, but in all honesty, they’re in such bad shape that you’d better do at least a little bit of upkeep or it’ll all go downhill rather abruptly. One day you’ll either find yourself wearing nothing but the elastic band, or (I’ve actually seen this happen) you’ll be walking somewhere, doing nothing particularly rigorous, and those sad tatters of cotton will give up the ghost when you least expect it, fluttering down your pants leg and onto the floor, or worse, grabbing onto your ankles and taking a ride. Occasions like these tend to result in painful life-long nicknames and are impossible to live down. So think about it. At least grab a stapler, or something.
