Ever feel like time’s going by much too quickly? One minute you were feeling rather modern with your Selectric typewriter and a copy machine that didn’t require cranking or the use of purple ink; the next, everyone had computers and cell phones and Segways, and now they have so many new gadgets and gew-gaws that life’s just not the same any more. What’s this I hear about some kind of digital television transition and how it’s going to ruin my old Zenith? Doesn’t anyone see how close to technology’s slippery slope we’re getting? Could just one small feature of modern life remain un-modern, please? Some of us can’t do the transition thing this quickly.
Well, the folks who make this product have heard my pleas, appreciated the ‘please,’ and set out to appease. Now you can re-create youthful hours spent happily chatting on your real, solid (now vintage) telephone, trapped in the kitchen, slowly trying to uncoil the cord and/or winding yourself up in it, with the Please Hold Vintage Cell Phone Handset. You know you always feel like your big manly hands are overwhelming your tiny delicate cell phone, even if you’re a woman. Also, the mouth-to-ear distance is all wrong on a cell phone unless you’re a bit of a pinhead. Relish a return to human scale and an experience that feels more personal, if only because plastic is a better conductor of the smell of stale saliva than whatever it is cell phones are made of. If you jiggle the cord, you can even get that old static sound. Call me!
