The latest in simulated vultures, this wild-eyed and sharp-beaked creature is a real multi-tasker. Glue it to a post in your back yard and it’ll keep birds away better than those fake owls. Perch it on your front porch and watch the number of solicitations decrease. And the next time a family member isn’t feeling well, display it in a prominent place. When it seems to get lonely, and it will, buy a companion. Black vultures are one of the few species who mate for life, and they’re miserable when single.
Here’s the perfect soulmate. The two make a lovely display or table centerpiece, and if they don’t turn out to be conversation starters, they’ll start a discussion of their own. “I’m the hen-pecked one, sick of cowering beneath your dirty looks,” says the second vulture. “What dirty looks? I’m simply displaying disapproval, you old buzzard,” responds the first. Typical vulture culture; they do a little bit of sniping at each other, go out for a leisurely dinner, then come home and have hot make-up sex. Mating for life -- it's not for the faint-hearted.
