You’re now capable of combining two, count ‘em, two, of life’s most sublime pleasures, namely watching television and shooting guns, with the gun remote control—do we not all wish we’d thought of this? A lot of you are protesting, “I did, a long time ago!” Next time, don’t let the dreamslayers in your life keep you down when you get an idea they find unconventional or unseemly. Then you’ll be the one laughing all the way to the bank with your chunky royalty checks, and they can keep their opinions about what’s stupid to themselves. End of life lesson.
Imagine the joy of aiming at the TV and shooting to get rid of Vince, the strangest spokesperson ever, as he hawks his ShamWows, or that sportscaster who’s talking about your team losing, or the next Kinoki or Ped Egg ad. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg, because we all know there’s a whole lot more coming out of your television set that you’d like to shoot. And then some.
After a while you’ll have that aim thing down to something resembling a science, so we’ll throw in a sheriff’s badge—you’ll have earned it. Have a rootin’ tootin’ TV-shootin’ good time, officer!
