Oh, yeah. If your idea of a good Halloween party involves having everyone’s eyes on your crotch (or thereabouts), this is the costume that best suits your temperament, or at least one of the top contenders. We recommend doing a lot of jumping around like a runner warming up, or a lot of early-morning-like stretches. At all times you must appear to be completely unaware of the massive plastic scrotum that’ll be clinging to your thigh. Hope you dress left, because that’s how you’ll be hangin’ on Halloween.
This costume hardly needs accessorizing, but we suggest at least briefly wearing some
giant inflatable hands. They’ll help keep your overall scale/ratio more realistic. Make one of many popular gestures with one hand—we’re fond what the package calls “devil horns or rock-n-roll.” Carefully mold the other hand around your pants pendulum and leave it in that “cupped” position. Do an occasional hearty adjustment, with mucho gusto.
If people question your proportions (they’re so cruel), you can head them off at the pass by packin’
five pounds of fake fat. You can either wave it around in your big hands, claiming this is the weight you lost when you took up jogging, and that you’re sure things will even out soon, or you can carefully duct tape it inside your shorts (the positioning’s entirely up to you) and let it speak for itself. At this point the costume doesn’t ask people to stare, it commands. Just make sure you look really, really happy and the world will be your oyster.
