Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Stupid Cupid/Pre-Halloween Special #4




















Spread some Halloween love. This costume comes with a mini fat suit—we won’t even start to enumerate its other possible uses, but there are so many of them that we felt comfortable leaving out the wig and sandals. You do, however, get the bow and arrow, the heart-covered wings (again, products that you’ll undoubtedly use again and again all year long), the tunic and the sash (which imparts a bit of a Miss America vibe that those of you with good legs can really capitalize upon). You probably already have some footwear that will be perfectly suitable for this costume, as if any of us knows what kind of shoes cupids wear. And the blond Screech wig isn’t any more cupid-like than your own heavenly tresses. We suggest you try draping the tunic as shown, so that the heart on your pretend protruding buttocks is always in view. Oh, and don’t walk during the party—this costume demands skipping at all times.

You’ll undoubtedly take a ribbing from your friends for wearing this in public, so accessorize wisely with

















fruit-scented Skipping is Gay air freshener. That way you’ve got a delicious hint of insouciant self-mockery as you skip about the room, spreading the love, the freshness, and that certain indefinable something known only as “you.” If anyone laughs, it’s time for that bow and arrow.