Thursday, September 25, 2008

Face the face




















Here’s
a product that takes facial care to an expansive cerulean plateau. It firms your “lazy skin.” That’s right, you’ve got lazy skin; it’s not that you’re getting older and losing collagen, despite what they said on “Body In Numbers.” It’s that your skin has decided it’s break time and is slacking, slouching and slinking its way downhill. Fast.

Plug this in and you’ll be back on track in no time. The Derma Wand is capable of an astounding 114,000 cycles per second; cycling has proved to be one of the best ways to get your lazy skin off its fat ass and back into shape. It’s like a facial spinning class.

When you’re done exercising that lazy skin, give it a spritz with the Derma Vital Hydrating Skin Mist, which is a “pure, mineral and chemical free water” specifically prepared for use with this product, completely unlike the pure, mineral and chemical free water you might drink or bathe in. You’ll be dewy, radiant and possibly wondering why so many women’s products are called wands. And do they all have to look like vibrators?