Light bulb moments

We decided to go shopping for a new lamp for the room in our house that I refer to as the den, but that my better half calls his man cave. We want the room to be lit as dimly and softly as possible, and all the lamps we own produce light that’s too harsh and glaring for the desired atmosphere in the den/man cave. We wanted more of a glowing effect than anything actually utilitarian; relatively ineffective lights were exactly what we were after.

We got to a lighting store, separated, and within minutes were heading toward the other with lamps in each hand and smiles on our faces.

I proudly held out






















the snail lamp and




















the lady bug lamp. “They’re perfect,” I started to say, but he was already shaking his head, no, saying, “It’s a man cave, remember?” Then I saw his choices:




















the Himalayan crystal rock lamp and




















the Himalayan salt crystal prosperity bowl.

“The term man cave doesn’t have to imply that we’re cave men,” I protested. “Plus, I don’t want a glowing bowl of orange rocks tempting me all the time. Let’s keep looking, okay?”

A few minutes later, I sauntered over to him and displayed




















the Dachshund accent lamp. I received such a withering look, I expected him to say, “Why don’t you go wait in the car?” Instead he just shook his head and kept looking. Pretty soon he came running up to me with



















a couple of these floor LED lights. He was particularly fond of the blue one. I told him if he wanted to be a Jedi knight, I was going to force him to do it in the back yard, not in the den.

“You mean the man cave,” he said. But he put them back.

The store was huge, and we’d only been down two aisles, so we kept going.

Soon I found, and was completely mesmerized, by





















the Groovy Shrooms light—I mean, I just couldn’t take my eyes off it. “No one else has one!” I pleaded, seeing the doubt in better half’s eyes.

“Guess why?” he said. “It’s 2008!”

But the only other light he found and liked was





















the See No Evil Monkey Light. And cute as it may be, it’s just not what I wanted in the den, or the man cave, or any other room in the house. This monkey’s bony legs and arms made me feel sorry for it. “Besides, I’d spend the rest of my life looking for its missing companions,” I said, thinking this was a good point.

So, as usual, we ended up compromising, which is what marriage is all about, folks. We found




















a kit that will allow us to make our own lamp. Of course, it seems like it’s going to be a very bare-bones kind of lamp, quite minimalist, but at least we’ll both be happy knowing we agreed on something.





















However, when we got home, what did I find in the bag? The Speak No Evil monkey. I glanced over at better half, who said, “I wanted you to have a quest. Plus, it’s my man cave.” And he pulled it out and plugged it in. I’m trying to follow its example.