For the more daring—and there are so many of you!—the Borat mankini is selling like hotcakes. We suspect it’s going to be doing some heavy duty on more than just Halloween night. This could be a good time to pull out your chest wig for that truly hirsute, masculine touch. Make sure you’re really working the room in this costume. Drop things like your pen, and slowly bend way over to retrieve them. Show everyone how you’ve been practicing doing the splits. Occasionally act as though the fabric is making your nipples itchy. Don’t forget to keep smiling like a fiend, and that fiddling with the costume below the waist level, as it works its way into your every nook and cranny, is completely forbidden, despite the fact that you’ll be longing for relief. If you can’t stand fabric encroachment maybe you’re more suited to our #3 special, shown a few days ago.
Carry this with you at all times; it’s why you have the pen:
The I’d Like to Do This with You notepad. You’ll be busily checking boxes and filling these out with your phone number and/or email address. Give one to every woman in the room, and maybe to a few of the better-looking men. Most will laugh, but a few will slyly stick the note in their pocket, and in a week or two your social life will be off the scale.
