And now that we’ve got you stylishly fed, fantastically cleaned up and sexily be-haired, you’ll need the right clothing for your birthday night out! What better way to impress the ladies than with these? Not only are they clearly the most kick-ass pair of pants you’ll ever own, they’re a nifty-thrifty $19.95! And, as Chuck is so aptly showing us, they won’t bind your legs! Better call and order several pair now; these babies are racing out of the warehouse! Note: sizes run larger-than-life, and men shorter than 5’ 11” need not attempt purchasing CNA jeans.
The first 500 callers will receive an autographed 8x10 glossy of this ad, signed by the president of Century Martial Art Supply, Inc. Operators are standing by, because we’re too cheap for chairs!
Come on, man! Action jeans! These aren’t for some sissy boy. ‘Sides, you know Chuck would never lead you astray. ***(note: product not actually endorsed/worn by Chuck Norris, but we send him a free pair every month, and he hasn’t sued us yet.)
I know, money's tight for all of us. But these pants will make you look as macho as you’ll feel after climbing out of your lava lamp of a bathtub, and they’re what’s considered investment clothing.
