Thursday, July 31, 2008

Make it go away

A li’l fast food eraser set! Don’t you want to pick up each item?, because I sure do. I also want to try erasing something with a burger or a hot dog. (or that yummy-looking sponge, tomato and algae sandwich—what fast food item is that supposed to be?) If you buy these, you won’t let people use ‘em, not even yourself. You’ll put the tray of erasers somewhere prominent on your desk, probably at work, and enjoy when others exclaim about the cute little fries and pretend to sip the cola.

Try to notice which co-worker seems most drawn to them, because one day you’ll come back from your lunch break and find teeth marks on that straw, possibly even a bite taken out of the hot dog or the burger (bet they leave the yellow sandwich alone, though). Some people are weird that way. If something looks like food, they’re incapable of resisting the urge to take a bite. I’ve seen it happen countless times with food-shaped candles, food-themed jigsaw puzzles and bowls of wax fruit. Once you’ve identified the guilty party you can have hours of workplace fun, tempting this person with other fake food disguised as erasers, such as the

dessert eraser set. Mighty tempting! There are many other desserts available, including cupcakes and ice cream bars. Or how about

the banana eraser, for the health conscious? In fact, there’s a whole bevy of fruit erasers:

Irresistible, for the most part. The peach is really drawing me in, unlike what I’m assuming must be a kiwi (but is actually a cantaloupe), although wouldn’t it be nice if fruit came with handles?

Another option that’s always well-received by those with a more dignified palate: Dim Sum erasers, sure to be riddled with teeth marks by the end of the work day. Too bad these erasers don’t come with a scratch-n-sniff feature.