This present will provide years and years of good, clean fun, and I can already see your eyes lighting up in its multi-colored glow—you don’t even know what it is, but you want it, don’t you? Don’t even attempt denial. Everyone who sees this wants it, even those who are not aware of their want at the time (which will later blossom into full-blown hard-core need).
So what is it already, right? It’s an underwater bath light par none! Actually it floats on top of the water, unless you tie a weight to it (included at no extra charge!), so it’s an anywhere-you-want-it bath light. Think multiple depths! Picture this miraculous device happily bobbing around as you unwind in the tub, exponentially increasing your relaxation and enjoyment with every pulsating fluctuation. It’s also capable of flashing a single color at a time, or four colors in sequence, so just when you think it’s getting a little boring, a tad ho-hum, that been there, done that sensation taking hold as is its wont, an entire other dimension pops up to prolong the allure. Will today’s bath involve a floater or a sinker? Maybe your chest hair would look good bathed in green—it’s all up to you!
Of course, this gift is not suitable for just anyone. You, however, do not fall into that category—you’re not one of the masses; you stand alone, and always have. You’re one of the elite few who look at this picture and instinctively understand the transformation it can make in your life, your bathing, your core satisfaction level, and everything else comprising that wonderful bag of bones, fat, muscle and gristle that we all know and adore as you. In other words, for the right person, this is an absolute must have! (Sorry, device not available in the Dakotas.)
