Mr. T, that’s who! Not just sitting there quietly, either. He says six things! As you can see, there are individual buttons for each of his clever one-liners. This means that, unlike the old-fashioned talking toys that spoke randomly, forcing you to pull a string repeatedly, hoping your favorite phrase would play, you’ll hear only the clever Mr. T-ism of your choice, such as the ever-popular “I pity the fool,” “Quit your jibba jabba,” and “Shut up, fool.” Plus, as the package says, it’s his real voice, fool! In fact, the package also calls you a sucka, doesn’t it? But this is part of the fun. For those of you too young to remember him, Mr. T was a bit of a surly type, so this just means the manufacturer is keeping it real. You’ll have hours, maybe entire days, of fun working Mr. T’s lines into your dialogue. “Don’t gimme no backtalk, sucka,” goes a lot farther than one would think, and of course “I pity the fool” is truly inexhaustible.
I think this product line should be vastly expanded. Just think of the television characters from days gone by we’d all like to carry around in our pockets! We could choose between things like Gary Coleman saying, “What you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?”, Joey from “Full House” saying “Cut it out,” or doing some of his endearing Bullwinkle impressions, Jeannie saying, “Yes, master?”, Marcia Brady yelling, “Oh, my nose!”, (or Jan with her “Marcia, Marcia Marcia!” line), Fat Albert’s “Hey, hey, hey!”, the nose-twinkling magic sound made by Samantha on Bewitched, or Redd Foxx yelling, “I’m coming, Elizabeth!” as he fakes yet another heart attack. But for now only Mr. T’s pocket-ready, so try him, sucka. We’re charging only an extra fifteen cents for the keychain feature, which is not removable.
