You’ve probably already pegged this as a combination mailbox, radio, and portable antique dashboard. Uncanny resemblance, I’ll give you that. Or maybe I’m wrong, and you’re much, much hipper than I thought and therefore not all that surprised to learn this is a fog machine. Maybe you’re even savvy enough to have owned a fog machine or two back in the day, and you’re thinking, "What do I need another one of those for? I was always running back and forth between the machine and the party and never having any fun, never really being one with the fog."
However, the FX-A (effects, eh? -- made in Canada) fog machine has a self-timer, which throws out the old conceptions, forcing us to reconsider the fog machine, at least for today. Picture hosting a party…your friends are there, getting along for once, enjoying the ambience of your place and secretly pretending they’re you. It’s a great time. Then, when they least expect it, you unleash the fog, and instantly the fun level trebles. The timer allows you to be right in the midst of the crowd when everyone’s jaws drop and they start looking around nervously for reassurance. Once you’ve convinced your guests the house isn’t on fire, they’ll really get into the fog. Several of the women may do that ‘70s porno dance thing while the men laugh uncomfortably, unable to look anywhere else. It’s the kind of party no one ever forgets. By the way, you can also control the time interval between fog-bursts as well as the amount of fog emitted, ‘long as you also buy a quart or two of fog juice (sold separately for obvious reasons).
I don’t know about you, but the parties I’ve attended lately have been a tad weak in the fog department, and possibly a bit lackluster in other arenas, if I’m going to be perfectly honest. But that’s not going to happen to any of my guests! I’m also playing around with the idea of using the bath light in tandem with the fog machine, but haven’t decided yet if that’s going to be a private thing, or something else to share with friends and family. I’m sure it’ll be a hit in either setting.
Life: it may get complicated, it may get weirdly uncomfortable and vastly unpleasant, but it can always be strangely lit, or have its edges artificially softened by fog—don’t ever forget that.
